Father’s Day Reflection, Part 2
Father’s Day Reflection (Part 2)
JUNE 15, 2025. As we wrote in the previous reflection, we have chosen Pope Francis to guide us in these reflections on fatherhood, as we prepare for a responsible celebration of the upcoming Father's Day. You can find these catecheses in full on the website. Here I “cut” and link the ideas that seemed outstanding to me, and sometimes I add commentary on them. The Pope’s words will be in italics, and the ellipses (...) indicate some interruptions. At the end or between the texts, I include some points for reflection.
Sometimes
Fathers forget about their family.
The problem of our time doesn’t seem to be so much the invasive presence of our fathers, but rather their absence. Fathers are sometimes so focused on themselves and their own work, and sometimes on their own individual fulfillment, that they even forget about their family. And they leave their children and young people alone. These are costs that are paid dearly, over time, during the children's adolescence.
Even as Archbishop of Buenos Aires, I warned of the sense of orphanhood that many children experience today. And I often asked fathers if they played with their children, if they had the courage and the love to spend time with them. And the answer was unpleasant, in most cases: “I can’t, because I have too much work.” The father was absent from the growing child, and he didn’t play with him, didn't spend time with him...
We must be more attentive to the wounds created by absent fathers.
Now, on this common journey of reflection on the family, I would like to say to all Christian communities that we must be more attentive: the absence of the father figure in the lives of children and young people produces gaps and wounds that can also be very serious.
We cannot forget that the “absences” of fathers also have a positive meaning in the education of children: They show them the horizon of autonomy; of responsible, momentary separation in order to seek sustenance; the longing for the one who is not there and its corresponding appreciation; the distancing from the one we love, which hardens and purifies love; the reverence and respect for the one who works and is the head and leader of the family community. Indeed, the deviations of children and adolescents can largely be attributed to this lack, to the lack of competent role models and guidance in their daily lives, to the lack of closeness, to the lack of love from their parents. The sense of orphanhood experienced by so many young people is deeper than we think.
To reflect on:
- Are my “absences” appreciated by my family and subsequently consolidated into closer relationships, or not?
- Are my “presences” intense and do they clarify and strengthen the role of the male in the family, dialogue with all members of my family, and the authority of the one who is the head and must provide support not only financially?
- Is there any sense of orphanhood in my family members, or are my absences understood and justified by my intense and positive presence?
- Did you manage to examine me, without prejudice, but objectively in my role as father and head of my family?
- What is my authority like with my family members: dictatorship; anarchy; absence; firm presence; loving; gentle and firm; clear and confident; reasonable; imposing; threatening; unpredictable; diffuse; delegated almost entirely or entirely to Mom...?